[He can't tell if the warmth felt in their chest is his or Atem's. Maybe it's both, really—because the way that Atem brings their shared hand to touch over that spot is tender and hopeful in a way that feels painful... but in the best of ways. It's like growing pains, where change is coming, and its good change, so you're looking forward to it.
Why did he want Atem, and only Atem?
Before he can even really answer, he remembers all the ways that the guy has been there for him, even when he didn't have to be. How, when recovering from being childhood friends to strangers, Atem still took the things that Komaeda cared about seriously. And, how, when things got difficult, Atem didn't run away from the conversation with him. When he disappeared for months, trying to keep himself as shut in as possible, dodging the sight of others, or just sleeping for more hours than he was awake, Atem searched for him nonstop.
And when he was carved open on a cold metal slab, when he revived incomplete, when he struggled his way to Lila, because he didn't have anyone else he could be vulnerable like that to, she told Atem to come for him. And he came running.
The reason Komaeda only wanted Atem is because...
You're the one person who has always caught me, when I was falling... Even if I didn't want you to. His thoughts are quiet in his mind, but gentle. Like sharing a secret, sacred feeling, kept locked away in his heart until now. I know that you'll continue to catch me, always. You've never given me a reason to doubt that.
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Why did he want Atem, and only Atem?
Before he can even really answer, he remembers all the ways that the guy has been there for him, even when he didn't have to be. How, when recovering from being childhood friends to strangers, Atem still took the things that Komaeda cared about seriously. And, how, when things got difficult, Atem didn't run away from the conversation with him. When he disappeared for months, trying to keep himself as shut in as possible, dodging the sight of others, or just sleeping for more hours than he was awake, Atem searched for him nonstop.
And when he was carved open on a cold metal slab, when he revived incomplete, when he struggled his way to Lila, because he didn't have anyone else he could be vulnerable like that to, she told Atem to come for him. And he came running.
The reason Komaeda only wanted Atem is because...
You're the one person who has always caught me, when I was falling... Even if I didn't want you to. His thoughts are quiet in his mind, but gentle. Like sharing a secret, sacred feeling, kept locked away in his heart until now. I know that you'll continue to catch me, always. You've never given me a reason to doubt that.