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And when did I say that I never talked to Hinata-kun?

[Komaeda feels his hackles raise, his fingers twitching above his keyboard. It's easier to keep his temper about him this time around, at least for now.]

You didn't say you did. You were evasive, instead! And after how important it seemed to you to clear it with him before anything happened at all, back in April...

[He remembers how that conversation had gone. Komaeda had been haughty and resentful, had insisted on talking to Lila and Hinata first. Atem had been respecting that, had been allowing space. He had let months go by, months he knew were producing dwindling coins, because he had done his part, and now it was up to Komaeda to decide if it could happen.]

The last time we talked about this, you said you were apprehensive. That it was easy to talk about things theoretically, but different to put it into experience. That these things required a sort of contract.

Then you become a demon and call me up, as though you had been all for it from the beginning, and won't give me a clear answer about your other partners...what was I supposed to think?

It had been months. It felt like you and Hinata were doing well, now that he was awake, and discussing me wasn't as important...until being a demon made you care less about consequences and the future, and the care you were taking before didn't matter. It may not be true, but I couldn't be sure, until you were your mer-self again. I can only say what it looked like to me, to get a call that suddenly, with you that different...

So, what is it?

[Komaeda's brow furrows. Surely, he must be remembering things differently. Maybe being a demon did addle his mind more than he realized, and maybe it's him falling into the familiar mistake of always assuming that Atem would understand him without him having to spell every little thing out.

It continues to be his biggest frustration, even now, years into knowing each other.]

I'll get this out of the way for you then: Hinata-kun is in full support of us, he always has been. It was easy to talk to him first about it, when he woke up, but...

Lila is gone, Atem-kun. I was waiting, like an idiot, and hoping she would come back but... No, she's gone back to the Sea. And maybe, as a demon, the sadness I had been feeling about that was obscured enough that I made a move, thinking that you could get the hint... But I guess not.

So, forgive me for not updating you more concisely.

[His brow furrows, the only real shift in his expression that he can make.]

But instead of asking for clarification, instead of asking me "did you speak to Hinata-kun and Lila?", you just accused me of going behind their backs. I wasn't trying to be evasive, Atem-kun I was...

...I was trying to flirt with you. Poorly, I guess. I'm not really good at that sort of thing in the first place. Still, it hurt to think you could see me as the type of person that would cheat on their lover.

[Komaeda is...

...

...he is really bad at flirting.]

When I was a demon...I got so careless that I left a situation alone which, if I'd addressed it, would have prevented a lot of the worst things that have happened to me.

I could believe that, as that monster, you'd think differently about what counted as being in support of us, or what counted as okay in a situation where it might not be clear.

I'm still sorry I assumed the worst.

[It had been...lonely, waiting. It had really felt like he wasn't needed, now that Komaeda had the person he had really wanted. Komaeda's told Atem it isn't like that, of course, but...fear and hurt aren't always rational.

He decides to leave the apology as it is.]

This is the second time you jump to conclusions when I've taken a monster form you had a bad time with, Atem-kun.

On one hand, I really do appreciate you worrying for me, but... on the other, I wish you would've just spoken to me directly about it like this sooner, like you did when I was a naphil.

The last thing I want is for you to doubt me, or my honesty when it comes to my feelings for you. I'm used to people thinking I'm lying or scheming, and usually, I don't really care what people want to believe.

You're different, though. The only thing I want is your trust, Atem-kun. It's taken this long to earn it, and the last thing I want is to lose it again.

[Komaeda feels his irritation swiftly fading, leaving behind only a sense of disappointment that this couldn't have happened sooner. How late are they going to be, when it comes to clearing up all the important things? How close will they get to never?]

I'm sorry too... For getting angry, instead of listening to your concerns. Do... You want to come over, now? I can make us some tea while we talk?

I'd like that.

[More than a peep show, honestly. There's more he wants to say, but...it would be better in person. It's too important to discuss over the network, especially where Elias can see it.]

Merain, right?

Yeah, Merain...

[Komaeda settles comfortable before his laptop, no longer sitting as straight, as on edge as he had been. It feels like inviting in a cat that takes its time warming up to you.]

You'll be able to notice my cottage. It's the only one painted green with seashells hanging from it.

Green with seashells. Got it.

[And, about an hour later to account for travel time, a vampire appears at Komaeda's door, knocking.

If it's daytime, it doesn't matter. Atem is standing fearlessly under the scattered cloud cover, two small wings folded on either side of a face that's not Yugi's anymore but his own. His eyes are still bloody red: this isn't a temp, it's having his own body back.

The Fog cloak flutters around his shoulders, the north sea wind catching it little bits of it and blowing them away in wisps. It's almost too much, he feels...like he's settled too far into his own skin, like something about the strength he's amassed has fused with his bones. And, even though he's customized himself to be exactly what he wanted -- no, needed to be, cloaked himself very literally in power...it makes him sort of miss being smaller, scrappier. An angry, lighting-quick little ghost -- weaker, less wise, but somehow, an easier person to be friends with. Someone who didn't know who he was yet, yes, but who hadn't despaired of being anything else.

He is exactly what he's made himself into, and he's here.]

Edited 2023-08-18 18:14 (UTC)

[The village is comfortable—and Atem will notice, whether he likes it or not, that the not insignificant number of human fisherwomen that make up the village are extremely welcoming of his presence. They'll offer him directions if he asks, as well as any of the day's fresh catch for free. He's one of Her chosen, after all, and this is a settlement that appreciates the Fog God's motherly touch, and how She and Her disciples have kept them safe from those that mean them harm.

Komaeda's cottage is a small, comfortable thing nestled right at the edge of the village. Fisher line strung with shells, pearls and glass chime harmoniously in the sea breeze. The water below the the wooden walkboards laps lazily against foundational poles. It's a serene place to be, away from the bustling city, away from the constant anguish of monthly happenings. Secluded, peaceful.

When the merperson himself answers, he's dressed somewhat similarly to the women of the village, but with a twist. While he wears the same patterned fabric as them, depicting pink whales and yellow fish, it's draped around his shoulders in a shawl rather than tied about the waist. Beneath, all he seems to wear are white swimsuit bottoms and a netted tunic that hangs to his mid-thigh.

Komaeda, too, has adjusted to his skin, made it more comfortable for himself. Years spent feeling like he took up too much space, like he didn't belong anywhere, feel like such a distant past. Now, when he greets Atem, he stands more proudly, and with his shoulders held straight and confidently. He's found where he belongs, for better or worse. He's found a version of himself that, while not perfect, is better than who he used to be.]

Atem-kun, you're just in time. I just took the kettle off the fire.

[Komaeda steps aside, letting Atem into the modest open air floorplan of his home. The inside is sparsely decorated, in muted and natural colors. However, he's made it feel more homey with a handmade, woven rug gifted to him by the women of the village, resting beneath a kotatsu in the center of the room. His bed is pushed up against one corner of the cottage, canopied by sheer fabrics and more shells, while a fire-pit sits in another. Aside from that, as always, bookshelves and stacks of books themselves are the only other real sight.]

Come in, ah, but please take off your shoes at the door!

[They see his cloak, and they welcome him.

It's almost unsettling. It's a reversal of how things ought to be. Atem accepts their directions, but politely declines the food: he doesn't eat much as a vampire, anyway. It's not an unhappy place, but it still makes Atem's stomach twist, sort of like how Rota had, when he'd first arrived, when they'd fed him human meat not hours after he'd woken up in Ryslig.

And, there's a deeper layer below that. He's spent more time in Dyster this year than before, sheltering from events, waiting out what he can. He's heard the Fog God's whispers, in his waking mind, in his dreams. She wants the humans afraid and suffering, not happy and grateful...and it makes Atem feel out of place, with all the peaceful coexistence.

It's a very nice place. Beautiful, peaceful. He does like it. It's just not a place where Atem, as he is now, could...live.

Stepping into Komaeda's house gives him a similar impression. The place is nice, with a definite sense of style, moreso than the apartments...

...and it makes him feel how great the gulf between them is, how wide it's gotten since they used to live across the hall from each other. They've grown in different directions, a whole life's been built here that he's not been permitted to be a part of, and...it feels to him like this is a place Komaeda's other friends and partners belong, not him.]

R-right.

[He steps out of the sandals he's wearing. His own clothes are linen, gauzy, good for summer, good for sunshine. Loose, sleeveless, belted.]

You've made a nice place, here.

[He means it.]

[Komaeda isn't so terrible at reading Atem after all these years that he doesn't see the discomfort. His expression softens, however, as he leads the way into the cottage and towards the kotatsu where two cups and a teapot have been laid out beside an assortment of snacks.]

I'm glad that you've finally been able to come visit, I've been wanting to show you this for a long time.

[He offers up the sitting pillow on one side of the table, and takes the other.]

It's nice not being in the city... Though I suppose you and Ryou-kun have already been enjoying that sort of life longer than I have.

[His voice grows quieter, more thoughtful, as he pours them both a cup of tea before opening up a package of rice crackers for himself.]

[There's a lot he could say, as he settles onto the cushion.

He could blather about how being on Lake Dala doesn't really feel like being away from the city; they're so close they can go in and out as they please, it's not a trip. And there's not a community there, like there is here, making it self-sufficient, operating separately. How he doesn't feel like he really left!

But, he doesn't.]

I wish I could have come by sooner.

I missed -- [No, he's going to be honest about this.] -- you.

I wanted to, in July. When it felt -- how it did. But I couldn't...I was...barely myself.

[Komaeda, for lack of better facial expression, can only really blink his surprise at Atem's sudden candidness. What's come over him, he has to wonder? He'd already noticed those rounded shoulders, his soft and serious tone. Now... This.

His own shoulders relax, as he sets his snack in front of him, momentarily abandoned. They're sitting across from each other, but quietly, Komaeda settles his hand on the table, palm up—an offer for Atem to take, if he wants to.]

I missed you too, Atem. More than... More than anything.

[The smile is heard in his voice, gentle at the edges, as if he were handling something fragile but well-loved.]

Don't worry about not coming sooner, though. What matters is that we're here now... Together. Okay?

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WELCOME TO YOUR PRIVATE CHANNEL, NAGITO KOMAEDA. FOR SECURE COMMUNICATION, USE 004.28.777.00 * MrBrightside has joined 004.28.777.00 <MrBrightside> Hello there! This is Komaeda. <MrBrightside>** I'm grateful that you want to talk to me.