[RYSLIG] IC Inbox

[luckless]

WELCOME TO YOUR PRIVATE CHANNEL, NAGITO KOMAEDA. FOR SECURE COMMUNICATION, USE 004.28.777.00 *** MrBrightside has joined 004.28.777.00 <MrBrightside> Hello there! This is Komaeda. <MrBrightside> I'm grateful that you want to talk to me.

Anonymous username(s): < Triple7 > < BlueRam >

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after Atem's departure

[waitingforplayer2]

[ Dyster can never truly be the home that the Fog wants it to be for Her monsters. It's too quiet, too cold; not enough of their friends, just a few faithful followers sharing the liminal space.

But there's something primally comforting about it nonetheless. Here, more even than on the peninsula, the fog wraps around Her monsters and holds them. The fog heals, physical wounds at least. Emotional ones are tougher; but at least Kiri-sama's monsters can feel safe in the fog, can feel powerful.

Is that what brings Nanami back to Dyster, when Atem leaves? They don't need to go; they already have spent too much time there, they know. But they want to. Maybe it's to get away from everything.

Nanami isn't in their apartment more than a few minutes before she hears something down below - movement? Crying? Through the wood and plaster it's hard to tell. But she knows who it is, who that telltale heat signature belongs to.

They're at his door mere moments later, and knocking gently. ] Komaeda-kun?... [ Not content to wait, Nanami lets himself in, peering into the apartment for him. ] It's me...

[luckless]

[The sounds aren't just that of shuffling, of crying and hiding away from the world. No, there's breaks of silence punctuated with heavy bangs, with frustrated sobs and the clatter of something heavy against a wall. It's understandable that he doesn't hear Nanami, not at first.

When they find him, it'll be in the midst of disaster. His mattress has been pulled from his bedframe, shredded by angry claws and had its stuffing pulled loose. Seashells and baubles that once decorated the ceiling in long strings have been pulled down, scattered or worse—shattered. His own scales are carved with lines of red, from clawing at himself, punishing himself for not doing more to lessen Atem's pain, but he doesn't feel it. All he feels is the gaping hole in his chest and the desperate breaths he takes with all the exertion.

It isn't until he's picking up his mattress again, to fling it again, that he turns enough to notice the Naga occupying his space. He gulps air, his grip releasing immediately like a misbehaving child caught.]

N-Nanami-kun, what are you...?

[waitingforplayer2]

[ The room is a devastation of despair, and so is Komaeda himself. Nanami's eyes immediately flick to the red marks on his skin, the dripping blood.

But two quick slithers of their tail, and they've crossed the distance between them. They're wrapping gentle arms around him, scale against scale, holding him if only for a moment in their shared grief. ]

I'm here. [ Themself is all they can offer, in the absence of their common friend. But to him, they'll offer it in full. ]

[luckless]

[Nanami is always so kind, so understanding. He doesn't deserve them. The cold sensation of scales against scales should be comforting and yet, it's not. When it feels as though his chest is being ripped open, his guts spilled, he doesn't want kindness. He wants a pain that's worse than what he's already experiencing. He wants to feel the depths of despair, colder than their scale to scale touch, more vicious than anything claws or teeth could do to his flesh.

But he doesn't push Nanami away. He doesn't have the will or strength to. Instead, he freezes. Instead, Komaeda sobs harder and turns into his friend's touch and buries his face into the curve of where shoulder meets reptilian hood.]

I knew it would happen eventually, and yet... This is the worst— [Komaeda pulls in a ragged breath between his words—] being here without Atem-kun, I, I—

[He doesn't know how he'll continue on.]

[waitingforplayer2]

[ With everything that's happened, everything the two of them have been through lately - and with the grief of Atem still fresh on their own mind - Nanami should be strong, should be the comforting shoulder for Komaeda to cry on. That's their role, that's their job, it's what they should be...

A choked sob escapes them anyway. They bury their face into Komaeda's shoulder too, a mirror to him, and nods into his neck. They get it. They understand.

They could see him again tomorrow or in a month or in a year or more, but they'll see him again. Nanami believes this. But the wait already feels like agony. ]

[luckless]

[Nanami's hope, still tinged with pain, is why they shine so brightly in Komaeda's eyes. He wants to believe he'll see Atem again, too, but... He knows, deep down, that Atem wouldn't want to be back. He knows that if anything, Atem wants to step into the next stage of his plan: breaking them all out from outside of the game he so believed Ryslig to be.

Komaeda couldn't possibly wish for Atem to come back, and that is by far the most painful reality of this situation. To want someone so badly—being with them, seeing their smile, hearing their laugh—and facing the reality of never having that chance again?

It's almost ironic, that of all the people to console him during this is Nanami themself.

Komaeda's own sobs mellow as he feels their body rack against his own, shaking with barely contained, strangled wants to hide their own sadness. He wraps his arms tighter around them when he feels it, runs the pads of his right hand's fingers along their spine. No words need be expressed between them, as they sob for minutes, they'll always be here for one another. The span of these encircling arms has been and will always be a safe place.]

[waitingforplayer2]

I keep telling myself it's not forever.

[ It feels like hours of crying together, even if it's probably only minutes. Nanami's sunk to the floor with Komaeda by this point; their coils wrapped protectively and close around him. Her claws run through his hair, idly untangling his tendril hair. ]

It's-- everyone comes back, eventually. You did, I did... I just...

[ Nanami swallows, and mutters into Komaeda's neck. ] I hate him not being here, you know?