luckless | [RYSLIG] IC Inbox

[After thoroughly enjoying his rice cracker snack, Basil will find that Grand Bois has now settled into his lap like a precariously perched orb—purring hard and thunderous on every breath—with the singular decision that this lap is his now. Get to petting, human.]

Hm... I remember some of it, but not all of it.

[It's a lie, Komaeda remembers the entire week. The endless anger and pain, the want to direct those fruitless feelings towards anyone and thing he could... He wishes he could forget it all, if he were being honest.]

We all turned into shades, when the fogged rolled in... It's a type of monster, that's sort of like a ghost, or shadow.

[There were aspects of it he enjoyed, like the chance to share his feelings with Nanami and Atem; but the endless desire of revenge was too much. He would normally be able to control those feelings, but... He couldn't while in that form. It was impossible to ignore that raging pain.]

...I think some of the traits of it were exaggerated. Shades are... They can have a lot of anger, and vengeful feelings. So, I'm glad to see you're okay, Basil-kun.

[Thank you, Grand Bois, for being the rock that Basil needs in this difficult time. His aggressive purring, his heavy body on his lap, the softness of his fur against Basil's fingers...it all actually is very weirdly effective in helping to keep him grounded. There's something for all of his senses to focus on, making it easier for him to listen and process what Komaeda is explaining.

"We all turned into Shades" is the biggesst piece of information, here. Because...it means that Basil has what is probably the only explanation for his bout of memory loss, here. He must have changed, too, and...for some reason, his change included not being able to recall what took place while he was changed. But surely that isn't going to continue to be a theme. That...doesn't seem like the norm for most monsters.

He's starting to wonder...if he even wants to know what happened. Shades consumed by vengeance, and anger...

He blinks hard, looking up at Komaeda through his lashes, and suddenly asks something that probably seems out of nowhere.]

...I'm looking for Mr. Katurian. I went to his apartment...but he didn't answer.

[It isn't a question Komaeda expects. In fact, it's such a hard swerve that for a moment, he's thankful for a face that can hardly show the minute changes in expression that might read as surprise. Instead, Basil is met with silent pause, and that unblinking, smiling face that he's used to seeing.

Katurian Katurian was found dead, by Mukuro—or rather, he was nothing more than a shell, when she brought him back. His body didn't last very long without his soul and, well...]

Katurian-san is an employee of mine at 8/12! Ah, but I haven't seen him at all in the last week. I was dealing with my own issues, but...

[Komaeda hums thoughtfully, pushing the image of wrapped meat within his fridge out of his mind, as he reaches for his wasabi peas and takes a few to munch on.]

Nope! I really don't remember seeing him. I actually didn't even know he lived here in 38-8... Did you have business with him, Basil-kun?

[So Komaeda hasn't seen him either. Basil...is not super happy to hear that, but it's not like it's Komaeda's fault or anything. But if he is an employee at a place Komaeda is familiar with...wouldn't Katurian's disappearance be concerning? Or immediately obvious, at least?

Basil fidgets uncomfortably in place for a moment, at least until Grand Bois' and all of his fat settles into his lap in a way that moving too much would upend him, and he'd rather not disturb him as he rumbles between his knees. Never mind the fact that Basil is still petting him as a means to keep himself calm, which is working well enough...for now.

He nods, looking anxiously across the table at Komaeda now.]

...that's the only thing I can remember. "Find Katurian. Room 305."

[He takes a shaky breath, glancing down. His fingers bury themselves into Grand Bois' fur to stop them from shaking.]

It...it feels really important. But I can't find him...

[As Basil gets worked up, the only thing Komaeda can do is watch. Though he doesn't have the capacity to show the full range of pity he feels for the other, it's at the very least found in the subtle way his brows inch up on his forehead, and how his gaze goes half-lidded.

Is it better, or worse, if Basil knows? He'll find out eventually, he imagines, and he doesn't have to share every detail... Katurian won't know, either, what's happened to his body.]

...I'm sorry, Basil-kun.

[Komaeda pauses, enough to set aside his snack and fold his hand into his lap as he turns his full attention to the other.]

Katurian-san... Probably died. It's not like he'll be gone forever, but... that's usually the case, when people go missing.

[He had already told Basil that death was fully possible here, and that people don't stay dead—but it's likely a harsh reality to face it so closely, so soon. Such is the way of Ryslig, unfortunately.]

It's either that, or he returned to the Sea of Stars... For that, though, we'd have to go to the graveyard to see if his name appeared on a headstone.

[...Something deep down had been preparing Basil for that being the answer, as much as he didn't want to believe it. Katurian...dead. He's suddenly bombarded with the memory of just speaking to him not all that long ago...seeing him alive, and...perhaps not well, but still. With no memories of the past week, save for that insistent request, he has nothing to fall back on as to what else could have happened to him. Not even the knowledge of being a Shade himself...

It's better that Komaeda is being honest with him, because sugar coating the reality of it all will just make it harder for him when he faces down the real possibility of dying himself.

This just. ...isn't the first time, for Basil. And it's no less alarming, the way the icy claws of terror grip at his chest, making it hard to breathe.]

I...I'm not sure...

[What to do, he starts to say, but the words die on his tongue before he can say them. Katurian...is he really...?]

[He gets it, and it's sort of why he's happy for this situation. The reality is, not everyone grapples with death in Ryslig so nicely. To have tea and snacks with a friend, to have a watermelon-sized purring cat on one's lap, is a luxury. It's better, too, that Basil is used to the idea now before it's his own inevitable death.

And yet, Komaeda finds it incredibly hard to be cynical in this moment. Basil is young, and the fragility that comes with never feeling the worst depths of despair is something that he could only wish to have back. Death, and all the miring feelings that come along with it, are things he's been intimately familiar with, ever since he was young. This, however, is likely the first time Basil has lost a friend.

Quietly, he reaches across the kotatsu, and settles his hand in the space between them. Just in case.]

It's okay to not know what to do, Basil-kun, and... It's okay to be sad, too. Katurian-san will be back, though. It doesn't make the pain less, but... It doesn't make it worse, either.

[Pain and death are temporary here, whether that's a blessing or not... Komaeda won't push Basil to believe one over the other.]

[Basil can feel that usual panic starting to overwhelm him, as he sits there. Well..."usual" may not be so accurate, because the usual is far, far worse than this. At least here, the anxieties of home are a little more divorced from his current reality...yet at the same time, it's disturbingly close. Too close.

Komaeda has a lot of faith in Basil's naivety. If only his assumption were true.

That said, even if these feelings are familiar, it doesn't make them any easier to confront. He can feel his chest tightening as his mind swims dizzyingly, trying to make sense of what happened in the time he seems to have forgotten, or perhaps blocked out entirely. If Katurian died, and Basil remembers him enough to know he was supposed to come find him...

Is it possible...he was responsible?

He doesn't want to think such things, obviously, but it's hard not to draw that connection when he has nothing else to compare it to. Just his own imagination, which tends to run wild on a good day. He can't even get up to excuse himself elsewhere, because Grand Bois is so heavy in his lap that he isn't going to be going anywhere any time soon.

...but then he sees Komaeda's hand. Reaching out to him, imploring. It's okay, it's okay...

He hesitates, his other hand still buried in Grand Bois' fur. But, after a moment...he reaches out to take Komaeda's hand. And for another long moment, he's quiet.]

...it's s..scary that I can't remember anything, Mr. Komaeda.

[What happened?]

[As that slight weight settles into Komaeda's hand, he curls his fingers over the smaller one within his palm. It's a small gesture, mostly because he isn't sure of what he could possibly say to make things easier. This sort of despair... It's the kind you just have to deal with, and grow from.]

I know how you feel, Basil-kun... Not knowing who you were, or what you did, can be really, really scary.

[This, at the very least, he has experience with.]

There was a time when... I completely forgot who I was. Years worth of memories were gone from my head, and I had no idea just what sort of person I had become during that time. I was... a past version of myself, with those memories gone.

[He watches the other, cautiously, and continues slow and quiet to make sure he doesn't say anything too upsetting.]

But your memory will come back, if not with time, then when Katurian-san returns. He might know something about it.

[He offers a small, hopefully reassuring smile to the other.]

[...Katurian. When Katurian comes back...he might know something about what happened. It's reassuring and anxiety inducing all at the same time, because in the end...one wonders if it's something Basil even will want to know. It really depends on how bad things got.

It's sad to hear that something similar has happened to Komaeda in the past. At least Basil only lost a week, but Komaeda lost years of his memories. Of himself. Basil can hardly imagine what that could do to a person over a much larger scale.

He looks back down at their joined hands, tightening his grip just a fraction.]

...did you ever get them back? Your memories?

[That tightened grip doesn't go unnoticed, rather, Komaeda's gaze turns to it the moment he feels it.]

I did, but it took some time, and what I gained... came at a really high price.

[The horrors of what happened to his school, to his friends, to their world... It all came to him slowly, but the spiraling despair of it all was at least softened by the fact that he'd already read it in a report. If one could consider such a thing to be a blessing, well...]

But those were all things that happened before Ryslig, it's a little bit different here. It's more tame, compared to my world... Which means it might not be easy for anyone who's never gone through stuff like this.

[Losing your memory, or your sense of self, never mind a friend... They're all things he's endured before. Things that prepared him for his life here.]

So it's okay to be scared, Basil-kun, but Katurian-san will be alright. He'll be back, and then we can ask him if he remembers what happened to him, alright?

[Tame...Basil isn't sure, then, if he would be able to handle what Komaeda ended up remembering about his world. It sounds...very bad.

Then again, Basil's idea of bad is skewed. His perspective altered.

He runs his hand down Grand Bois' back again.]

...okay.

[He's just going to have to accept this, for now. Anything else is going to result in him getting more and more upset, and he's already reached his capacity for that, he's pretty sure.

He sets the wrapper for the rice crackers he'd opened back onto the kotatsu, not realizing he'd still been holding it, before he says anything else.]

I should go home soon... [Since he's concerned that the others at the Palazzo might be worried about his disappearance.] ...but...can I stay with you a little while longer?

[Komaeda watches the boy for a long, quiet moment. It's a lot to take in, he thinks, especially for a guy so timid as Basil. He decides it was likely the best choice to not tell him about his friend being in the fridge, even if Mukuro's practicality means there's one less human out there being killed and eaten.]

You can stay for as long as you like, Basil-kun.

[He tone is warm, as is his smile, as he holds his tea cup just to keep his hand occupied.]

We have books, and video games, if you like those. The kotatsu is warm, and Grand Bois likes you. If you want something else to eat, too, I have some normal leftovers I could microwave for you.

[Just as Basil is like to want, Komaeda tries to offer up any further sense of normalcy he can. It's the least he can do, he thinks, for a guy who's just trying to keep his head above the water.]

[It's almost hard for Basil to believe now that he'd been so afraid of Komaeda when he first got here, yet here he is almost literally bending over backwards to help him out at every turn. He appreciates it, so much...and hopes that one day, he can return the favor. It's deserved, he thinks.

He'll finally reach for the tea that Komaeda set out for him though, able to take a sip now that it's had some time to cool for a bit. It's warm and nice between his hands.]

I think I might just...sit here for a while.

[He may just fall asleep actually, between the kotatsu's warmth and Grand Bois' weight on him.]

[Komaeda offers a small, affirmative hum, his expression softening further at the sight of Basil relaxing. It makes him happy that this kid can have some reprieve, that he, too, can find little ways to find joy and comfort in this place. Ryslig isn't perfect, but there's a lot of good here that people don't realize.

After finishing off his own tea, Komaeda pushes himself up from the kotatsu.]

Alright, well, you make yourself comfortable, then. I might do some reading, or some cleaning... If you need anything, just call alright?

[When he gets to cleaning, he'll manage to be as quiet as possible—and eventually, if he passes by Basil asleep under the kotatsu, he'll bring a blanket over to cover up his shoulders so that he doesn't get cold.]

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cw: vague danganronpa spoilers--

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WELCOME TO YOUR PRIVATE CHANNEL, NAGITO KOMAEDA. FOR SECURE COMMUNICATION, USE 004.28.777.00 * MrBrightside has joined 004.28.777.00 <MrBrightside> Hello there! This is Komaeda. <MrBrightside>** I'm grateful that you want to talk to me.