[If Nagito's trying to make eye contact, he won't be able to. Hajime's staring at Nagito's fingers, at the corner of toast pinched loosely between them. Nagito's picking at his food. Either he's not hungry at all, or there's something on his mind that's bothering him. Or maybe it's both.
What happened on the fifth island was a long time ago for Hajime, yeah, but it would feel pretty recent to Nagito. ...How recent, though? Had Nagito felt the passing of the months that followed at all? In Nagito's mind, how long ago was it that he died?
Hajime sighs. He thinks he could be more understanding.]
...No, it's... I get it. I've had months to get over it, but you... must probably feel like it just happened. [And Nagito might feel this way for a while to come. Hajime will have to be ready for that.] I guess it only makes sense that it's still something you're thinking a lot about.
[Maybe it's just selfish of Hajime to insist that it doesn't matter anymore, when in fact it still matters a lot to Nagito. And as long as it does matter to him, then how Hajime feels about it is... yeah, it's just irrelevant. If Nagito moves on from this, it'll be whenever he's ready to. Not when Hajime wants him to.
But... This burst of stubbornness, it's not the only difference between him and Izuru Kamukura, is it? No, surely not... Even now, does Hajime still come across as being cold and insensitive -- to the same degree that Kamukura was...? No, he-- he's not like that anymore, is he? He doesn't want to be that way. He's not Kamukura. He wants to tell Nagito that he's not Kamukura, but that won't mean anything, will it, if Kamukura is nearly all that Nagito sees when he sees Hajime now. God, it-- That hurts, and not just Hajime's feelings. It's more than that.
Hajime's chest is heavy.]
I'm not lying to you, Nagito. And I'm not afraid to be honest with you, either. [Though there are definitely a few things Hajime is-- no, not exactly afraid, but definitely nervous, to just come out and honestly say. Admit, even. But...] You're reading into it too deeply, though. I was just trying to say that I... [god, why can't he just say it? Why does his voice have to catch like this? Why have to pause now, of all times?] ...I care. That's all. You're right, though, I could have phrased it a little more clearly. Sorry.
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[If Nagito's trying to make eye contact, he won't be able to. Hajime's staring at Nagito's fingers, at the corner of toast pinched loosely between them. Nagito's picking at his food. Either he's not hungry at all, or there's something on his mind that's bothering him. Or maybe it's both.
What happened on the fifth island was a long time ago for Hajime, yeah, but it would feel pretty recent to Nagito. ...How recent, though? Had Nagito felt the passing of the months that followed at all? In Nagito's mind, how long ago was it that he died?
Hajime sighs. He thinks he could be more understanding.]
...No, it's... I get it. I've had months to get over it, but you... must probably feel like it just happened. [And Nagito might feel this way for a while to come. Hajime will have to be ready for that.] I guess it only makes sense that it's still something you're thinking a lot about.
[Maybe it's just selfish of Hajime to insist that it doesn't matter anymore, when in fact it still matters a lot to Nagito. And as long as it does matter to him, then how Hajime feels about it is... yeah, it's just irrelevant. If Nagito moves on from this, it'll be whenever he's ready to. Not when Hajime wants him to.
But... This burst of stubbornness, it's not the only difference between him and Izuru Kamukura, is it? No, surely not... Even now, does Hajime still come across as being cold and insensitive -- to the same degree that Kamukura was...? No, he-- he's not like that anymore, is he? He doesn't want to be that way. He's not Kamukura. He wants to tell Nagito that he's not Kamukura, but that won't mean anything, will it, if Kamukura is nearly all that Nagito sees when he sees Hajime now. God, it-- That hurts, and not just Hajime's feelings. It's more than that.
Hajime's chest is heavy.]
I'm not lying to you, Nagito. And I'm not afraid to be honest with you, either. [Though there are definitely a few things Hajime is-- no, not exactly afraid, but definitely nervous, to just come out and honestly say. Admit, even. But...] You're reading into it too deeply, though. I was just trying to say that I... [god, why can't he just say it? Why does his voice have to catch like this? Why have to pause now, of all times?] ...I care. That's all. You're right, though, I could have phrased it a little more clearly. Sorry.