[More so than something intended to eat, those crumbs roll between Komaeda's fingers as he watches Hinata's face scrunch up with thought. The way his brows furrow, the way he stumbles around his words, trying to figure things out. He's always been the type to wear his heart on his sleeve, and that's more apparent now than ever.
In a way, he's mad about it—because if Hinata was more like Kamukura, if he was insensitive, apathetic, uncaring about Komaeda as a person—then this would be so much easier. Komaeda could hate him, or perhaps it would be like before the simulation, where he was fascinated by the hope that resided with him. Either way, it would be easier than feeling his chest tighten and his lungs going breathless just seeing how knotted up Hinata got when put on the spot.
There's probably something cruel in the way Komaeda enjoys seeing it, too. Because if Hinata is this worried about him, doesn't that mean he can trust him? That those words passed between them in the simulation, as distant as they were, were all true?]
Yeah, it feels recent. [He finally answers, as he dusts his fingers to get the crumbs stuck to them off. He picks up the toast proper then, and brings it to his mouth. The silence breaks with a thick crunch, and he chews his bite slowly. Once swallowed, he continues.]
When I found out about us all being Ultimate Despair, I could only focus on ridding the world of us through death.
[He pauses, and lowers his slice of toast back to the plate. His gaze hasn't left Hinata's and as it lids, the rest of his expression follows suit, softening into something forlorn... or perhaps... fond?]
Did you mourn me, when you found my body? I wonder what the Hinata back then, before realizing he was Kamukura Izuru, thought of my brilliant mystery.
[Did it make him sad? Did it make him happy? To finally be rid of the thorn in his side that was Komaeda Nagito... did he smile in the face of that death? Komaeda almost doesn't want to know the answer, but the pain of not knowing... is probably worse.]
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In a way, he's mad about it—because if Hinata was more like Kamukura, if he was insensitive, apathetic, uncaring about Komaeda as a person—then this would be so much easier. Komaeda could hate him, or perhaps it would be like before the simulation, where he was fascinated by the hope that resided with him. Either way, it would be easier than feeling his chest tighten and his lungs going breathless just seeing how knotted up Hinata got when put on the spot.
There's probably something cruel in the way Komaeda enjoys seeing it, too. Because if Hinata is this worried about him, doesn't that mean he can trust him? That those words passed between them in the simulation, as distant as they were, were all true?]
Yeah, it feels recent. [He finally answers, as he dusts his fingers to get the crumbs stuck to them off. He picks up the toast proper then, and brings it to his mouth. The silence breaks with a thick crunch, and he chews his bite slowly. Once swallowed, he continues.]
When I found out about us all being Ultimate Despair, I could only focus on ridding the world of us through death.
[He pauses, and lowers his slice of toast back to the plate. His gaze hasn't left Hinata's and as it lids, the rest of his expression follows suit, softening into something forlorn... or perhaps... fond?]
Did you mourn me, when you found my body? I wonder what the Hinata back then, before realizing he was Kamukura Izuru, thought of my brilliant mystery.
[Did it make him sad? Did it make him happy? To finally be rid of the thorn in his side that was Komaeda Nagito... did he smile in the face of that death? Komaeda almost doesn't want to know the answer, but the pain of not knowing... is probably worse.]