luckless | [RYSLIG] IC Inbox

[When the peninsula was finally silenced, and those who had unwittingly turned into shades finally returned to their previous forms...Basil had woken up in an unfamiliar place. He'd been in one of the back alleys of Bavan, wandering aimlessly, searching for someone he wouldn't be able to find. The sudden impact of crumpling to the ground as a solid human again hadn't quite been enough to wake him, leaving Basil coming to to the sensation of cool, slightly damp asphalt against his cheek.

For a small blessing, his memories of the entire last week aren't present. There are hazy blips of things here and there, but nothing he can really make any proper sense out of...and the last thing he does remember is being overcome with a feeling of such...overwhelming fear and confusion in his room in the Palazzo that he'd been paralyzed, unable to leave his room or even get up from the floor.

And now...he's here. Lost, and alone.

It takes a bit of Basil wandering the streets to figure out that something's happened. He can hear people screaming and crying in the distance even now, no doubt last-minute victims of the Shade epidemic. There are buildings that have been ransacked and destroyed in various configurations all over, though the fog he remembers being present seems to be gone now. The moment Basil thinks he sees something resembling the shape of a body is when he breaks from a nervous walk into a sprint, his heart beating a wild staccato in his throat as he makes a break for the center of the city.

He stumbles, he falters, but he doesn't stop running. He isn't sure how he manages to find it, just that the apartment complex seemed to have a very specific sort of structure...and it's big. Big enough that he could see it above the buildings from miles away. There's only one thing he can remember, the words oddly burned into his brain:

Find Katurian at the 38-8.

He's shaking, knees skinned from falling and clothes slightly damp and dirty in places as he makes his way to what he remembers being told is the floor he lives on. But when he finally finds the room and knocks on the door...there's no answer. He knocks again after a few minutes, even calls from the other side, but nothing.

What does he do? Where does he go from here? He stands in front of the door for another long moment, overwhelmed, before he remembers who else lives in this building.

It's past sunset when Komaeda will hear a soft knock at his apartment door.]

[Following the events of the week, Komaeda is no less exhausted despite knowing exactly what to expect of Ryslig. To go from a recent return from the Sea of Stars, to having memories and emotions running like wildfire through his veins, the end of the typical fog chaos is fully welcomed. More so, all of his usual housemates are out—no doubt busy with their own community outreach, picking up the usual pieces and trying to get their population back onto their feet the only way a handful of despaired teenagers trying to make a difference can.

So, when the faint knock comes, it's unexpected but not unwelcome. For a moment Komaeda thinks it might be one of his neighbors. It wouldn't be unheard of for anyone else on floor eight to wander over, wanting for nothing more than some quiet company in the emotional aftermath; but instead, when Komaeda opens the door, he finds the last familiar face he would be expecting to see.

He blinks once, twice, takes in the sight of bleeding, skinned knees and dirtied clothes, and doesn't think twice about it. His expression is soft when he steps aside, holding the door open for Basil with as comforting a smile as he can manage on his face.]

Basil-kun, come inside. [He waits for the other to step in before closing the door and gesturing down the hallway.] Makes yourself comfortable at the kotatsu, I'll grab some drinks and snacks for us, okay?

[Even without saying a word, it is clear Basil isn't doing well. He is right off the heels of turning back from being a Shade, he remembers almost nothing...and that's just the tip of the iceberg, really. Komaeda, then, is a bastion of safety in his mind. All he could think about when he couldn't find Katurian was the time that Komaeda told him he could come find him, or talk to him, if he ever needed help...and so he's here.

It means everything, when Komaeda simply ushers him inside with no fanfare or preamble. It allows Basil to step in without having to speak or explain himself just yet, his hands clutching at the bottom edge of his sweater as he nods dully, making his way over to said kotatsu. He's a bit shellshocked, what with the way his feet just automatically take him down the hall where Komaeda indicated, too exhausted and out of it to really worry about whether he's being impolite or not.

He makes it to the kotatsu in one piece (he only knows what one is since Sunny and Kel used to have so much manga and comic books they'd read back in the day), sinking down into an awkward sit with his knees pulled up to his chest as if he can't think of any other way he should be sitting beyond the fetal position. At the very least, Basil seems okay. He isn't severely injured or dealing with having been attacked or anything like that...it's all mental, what he's grappling with currently.]

[As Basil settles in at the kotatsu, he may feel heat radiating off of it. As is normal for winter, the wooden top has a futon tucked under it, perfect for napping. Komaeda, in the meantime, busies himself in the kitchen with putting the kettle on and getting some tea snacks ready.

For awhile, the gentle sounds of dishes clinking and packages being rummaged through fill the near-empty apartment with a busy monotony that might very well be soothing to someone exposed to so much in so little time. And perhaps it's just when Basil is beginning to relax, an unexpected occupant of the kotatsu makes himself known.

From under the futon, a perfectly round and chubby black face with dull eyes pokes out to look up at the boy. The cat, though he looks rather grouchy, seems to be quite affable as he pulls his rotund body out from under the kotatsu to inspect the stranger without even a shred of shyness. If anything, this cat carries himself with a regal and confident air, as if all humans exist for his own benefit.

He sniffs at Basil for a moment, and then, surprisingly, slams his head against the boy's side with a blatant demand for pets.]

Edited 2023-01-26 06:19 (UTC)

[This is just what Basil needs right now. The gentle, mundane sounds of Komaeda moving around in the kitchen reminds him of the days when he would be feeling well enough to sit in the living room, reading a book or something similar while Polly worked on getting dinner ready for the evening. He can almost imagine that he's there if he closes his eyes...

In fact, that's exactly what Basil is doing when he suddenly feels the blanket of the warm kotatsu shifting beneath him, startling him out of his thoughts. He sucks in a breath through his teeth, and he very nearly scrambles to his feet to get up and away from...whatever it is, but fortunately before that happens...he ends up lingering just long enough for the cat to poke his head out.]

...h-huh?

[A cat...?

Basil goes very still, tracking the cat with his eyes as he pulls himself out from beneath the futon. He...has quite honestly never seen a cat this big. Mewo was very small, just a kitten when he first met her and stayed small her whole life, but this cat...he could swear he's almost the size of Hector, but that's also the only other animal he knows of to compare him to, and Hector is a dog...

He stays motionless as he's approached, only for the cat to slam his massive head into his side with enough force to very nearly knock Basil over. He squeaks, lifting the arm closest to the cat so he isn't holding it in the way, and for a few seconds he just...hovers like that, awkward.

Then...tentatively, carefully, he brings a trembling hand down to rest it atop the cat's head, brushing his hand over his fur and down his back.]

[Nearly immediately, Basil's attention is rewarded with the thundering roll of a purr that seems to vibrate bodily through the cat. He leans into every nervous, tentative stroke as if Basil should have no reservations in showing him affection (it's what he's owed, honestly), and seems to turn in circles just to lead that petting hand wherever he wants it. Indeed, he's a round cat, so round one might wonder how he grooms himself but... alas, his fur is impeccably well maintained—by his humanoid servants, of course!

When he makes a full circuit and brings his head back towards Basil, it's to rub his chubby jowls against the boy's leg and leave a slime-trail of drool each time he does. And in the meantime, the kettle seems to have come to boil as its whistle pierces through the apartment before being removed from the burner (and it's an honest miracle Komaeda didn't burn the kitchen down in the process).

Basil's host then, finally, reappears with a kettle in his hand and two teacups tucked to his chest with his residual limb. He first sets the kettle down on the hot pat in the center of the kotatsu, then the cups, and then returns to the kitchen to retrieve the bowl of snacks. The bowl, once he sets it down in front of Basil, has an assortment of fresh mandarin oranges, packaged wasabi peas, cookies, and rice crackers for him to choose from.]

I see you've met Grand Bois, [he laughs a bit awkwardly as he tucks himself under the warm futon before pouring them both a cup of tea.] He was my old roommate's cat. We've been taking care of him ever since she returned to the Sea of Stars.

[It's been a year and half, almost. He wonders if she'll ever return.]

[By the time Komaeda returns (thankfully having NOT burnt the apartment to the ground in his absence), Basil is...fully occupied with this very large cat that has decided he is going to be the sole proprieter of pets. And honestly? Even though Basil is feeling- quite frankly- awful right now...well. It's hard to feel quite so bad when you're being loved on by an animal. He doesn't even mind the way Grand Bois is drooling on him, smiling a little in spite of himself as he rubs all over him.

Basil nods as Komaeda sits down at the futon across from him, still gently petting the cat on his head and occasionally down his spine, very aware from his experience with Mewo that you don't really want to just aggressively pet a cat the same way you would a dog, lest you're willing to gamble the integrity of your limbs in exchange.]

H-he was under here...

[The futon, he means. Basil is shocked he didn't realize he was under there, with how large he is. Like a big furry pillow...]

[Komaeda sets Basil's poured tea in front of him, before reaching for the bowl of snacks and pulling out a package of wasabi peas.]

He likes to sleep under the kotatsu because it's warm... but at night, he'll sneak into my room and lay on my head... Sometimes I worry that he'll suffocate me under all of his fat, but I guess it's a little less scary when we don't stay dead, here.

[The nonchalance with which he speaks of death might be a bit jarring, but his tone buoys with enthusiasm regardless. He pries open his snack one handed and pops a few peas into his mouth to crunch on as he thinks.

He isn't sure if it's such a good idea to ask Basil why he's here, even if he's curious. So Komaeda tries to find a topic that might be a bit entertaining to think about instead. Grand Bois seems to be earning a smile out of the other, after all...]

His owner pampered him, so it's a bit of pain to take care of him. He refuses to eat normal cat food... so we have to feed him gyoza and bento instead. If you want to feed him some rice crackers, you can!

[The cat in question seems to be content with nearly knocking Basil over with how enthusiastically he rubs the whole length of his body against the guy's side.]

[Oh, what he's doing here will come in due time. Basil isn't going to leave until he gets answers on that front, but...for the time being, those can wait. He's not in any huge rush to go back to his thoughts, all of which have been fraught with uncertainty. Overwhelming.

It's easier to talk about this very large cat that Komaeda owns, said cat who is hell bent on rubbing up against Basil until every inch of his clothing is covered in cat hair. Not that he minds, he's just amazed that a cat can be this big...and strong...]

He's nice...

[Basil lifts his head a little, then, as if he's noticing the snacks and tea that Komaeda brought for the first time. He remembers how Kel would feed Hector snacks from their picnics whenever he begged for them, and Hero would scold him saying that Hector was going to get fat...

That's probably why this cat is so big, he realizes as he reaches out to pick up one of those packages of rice crackers, the paper crinkling as he pulls it open. As he busies himself with that (trying to hold it carefully so Grand Bois doesn't just bowl him over for it), he glances up at Komaeda directly, looking cowed.]

I'm sorry I didn't tell you I was coming. I...I was in the middle of the city, somehow...

[Nice is not the word Komaeda would use to describe Grand Bois—perhaps entitled, or scary, or rotund—but not nice. Still, he watches Basil relax as the overlarge cat demands his attention, which is inherently grabbed when the sound of plastic packaging fills the comfortable quiet between them. Immediately he's trying to drag his entire weight onto Basil's lap, digging his claws into the boy's muddied shorts to pull himself closer to the rice cracker that, once offered, he readily takes from Basil's hand and crunches very loudly and messily.

Komaeda gives a knowing laugh as he watches it all unfold in front of him, and then, once Basil is able to get some modicum of control over the cat that's basically claimed his lap now, he speaks.]

Well... You don't really have to tell me if you're coming, but it's a good thing I was home.

[He doesn't know yet that Basil had sought out Katurian first, and that, had he not been home, the poor kid would've been stuck alone and scared with no one else to rely on. Still, he can sort of take guesses as to what happened by Basil's manner and state of dress.]

It's scary, right? Waking up, not knowing what happened. I won't say it doesn't happen often, because that would be a lie... But I'm glad you're not hurt. Although...

[He did see Basil's knees when he first came in, and he's been thinking about it ever since.]

When you're done feeding Grand Bois, we'll get your scrapes cleaned up, okay?

[Basil wasn't sure what to expect when he opened those crackers, but having this cat just pile himself into his lap wholesale wasn't it. He squeaks a little at this guy's sheer mass, shifting to sit up a bit so he doesn't end up bowled over onto the floor as he gently offers him one of the rice crackers. The crumbs are getting all over both Grand Bois and his lap, but he can't say he minds it much. He can take his time enjoying those crackers while he and Komaeda talk.

The boy nods, because yeah. Scary...is a gross understatement. He'd woken up completely bewildered and terrified in a way that didn't compare to how he felt when he first arrived. It's a different feeling not knowing how you got somewhere when you're well aware of the awful things that can happen in a place...and you can't remember what you could have been saying, or doing.]

Okay.

[Getting those tended to should have been his priority, but the adrenaline has been coursing through him to a point where he just didn't even register the pain. He doesn't even really feel it now, either.]

Do...you remember what happened? At all?

[After thoroughly enjoying his rice cracker snack, Basil will find that Grand Bois has now settled into his lap like a precariously perched orb—purring hard and thunderous on every breath—with the singular decision that this lap is his now. Get to petting, human.]

Hm... I remember some of it, but not all of it.

[It's a lie, Komaeda remembers the entire week. The endless anger and pain, the want to direct those fruitless feelings towards anyone and thing he could... He wishes he could forget it all, if he were being honest.]

We all turned into shades, when the fogged rolled in... It's a type of monster, that's sort of like a ghost, or shadow.

[There were aspects of it he enjoyed, like the chance to share his feelings with Nanami and Atem; but the endless desire of revenge was too much. He would normally be able to control those feelings, but... He couldn't while in that form. It was impossible to ignore that raging pain.]

...I think some of the traits of it were exaggerated. Shades are... They can have a lot of anger, and vengeful feelings. So, I'm glad to see you're okay, Basil-kun.

[Thank you, Grand Bois, for being the rock that Basil needs in this difficult time. His aggressive purring, his heavy body on his lap, the softness of his fur against Basil's fingers...it all actually is very weirdly effective in helping to keep him grounded. There's something for all of his senses to focus on, making it easier for him to listen and process what Komaeda is explaining.

"We all turned into Shades" is the biggesst piece of information, here. Because...it means that Basil has what is probably the only explanation for his bout of memory loss, here. He must have changed, too, and...for some reason, his change included not being able to recall what took place while he was changed. But surely that isn't going to continue to be a theme. That...doesn't seem like the norm for most monsters.

He's starting to wonder...if he even wants to know what happened. Shades consumed by vengeance, and anger...

He blinks hard, looking up at Komaeda through his lashes, and suddenly asks something that probably seems out of nowhere.]

...I'm looking for Mr. Katurian. I went to his apartment...but he didn't answer.

[It isn't a question Komaeda expects. In fact, it's such a hard swerve that for a moment, he's thankful for a face that can hardly show the minute changes in expression that might read as surprise. Instead, Basil is met with silent pause, and that unblinking, smiling face that he's used to seeing.

Katurian Katurian was found dead, by Mukuro—or rather, he was nothing more than a shell, when she brought him back. His body didn't last very long without his soul and, well...]

Katurian-san is an employee of mine at 8/12! Ah, but I haven't seen him at all in the last week. I was dealing with my own issues, but...

[Komaeda hums thoughtfully, pushing the image of wrapped meat within his fridge out of his mind, as he reaches for his wasabi peas and takes a few to munch on.]

Nope! I really don't remember seeing him. I actually didn't even know he lived here in 38-8... Did you have business with him, Basil-kun?

[So Komaeda hasn't seen him either. Basil...is not super happy to hear that, but it's not like it's Komaeda's fault or anything. But if he is an employee at a place Komaeda is familiar with...wouldn't Katurian's disappearance be concerning? Or immediately obvious, at least?

Basil fidgets uncomfortably in place for a moment, at least until Grand Bois' and all of his fat settles into his lap in a way that moving too much would upend him, and he'd rather not disturb him as he rumbles between his knees. Never mind the fact that Basil is still petting him as a means to keep himself calm, which is working well enough...for now.

He nods, looking anxiously across the table at Komaeda now.]

...that's the only thing I can remember. "Find Katurian. Room 305."

[He takes a shaky breath, glancing down. His fingers bury themselves into Grand Bois' fur to stop them from shaking.]

It...it feels really important. But I can't find him...

[As Basil gets worked up, the only thing Komaeda can do is watch. Though he doesn't have the capacity to show the full range of pity he feels for the other, it's at the very least found in the subtle way his brows inch up on his forehead, and how his gaze goes half-lidded.

Is it better, or worse, if Basil knows? He'll find out eventually, he imagines, and he doesn't have to share every detail... Katurian won't know, either, what's happened to his body.]

...I'm sorry, Basil-kun.

[Komaeda pauses, enough to set aside his snack and fold his hand into his lap as he turns his full attention to the other.]

Katurian-san... Probably died. It's not like he'll be gone forever, but... that's usually the case, when people go missing.

[He had already told Basil that death was fully possible here, and that people don't stay dead—but it's likely a harsh reality to face it so closely, so soon. Such is the way of Ryslig, unfortunately.]

It's either that, or he returned to the Sea of Stars... For that, though, we'd have to go to the graveyard to see if his name appeared on a headstone.

[...Something deep down had been preparing Basil for that being the answer, as much as he didn't want to believe it. Katurian...dead. He's suddenly bombarded with the memory of just speaking to him not all that long ago...seeing him alive, and...perhaps not well, but still. With no memories of the past week, save for that insistent request, he has nothing to fall back on as to what else could have happened to him. Not even the knowledge of being a Shade himself...

It's better that Komaeda is being honest with him, because sugar coating the reality of it all will just make it harder for him when he faces down the real possibility of dying himself.

This just. ...isn't the first time, for Basil. And it's no less alarming, the way the icy claws of terror grip at his chest, making it hard to breathe.]

I...I'm not sure...

[What to do, he starts to say, but the words die on his tongue before he can say them. Katurian...is he really...?]

[He gets it, and it's sort of why he's happy for this situation. The reality is, not everyone grapples with death in Ryslig so nicely. To have tea and snacks with a friend, to have a watermelon-sized purring cat on one's lap, is a luxury. It's better, too, that Basil is used to the idea now before it's his own inevitable death.

And yet, Komaeda finds it incredibly hard to be cynical in this moment. Basil is young, and the fragility that comes with never feeling the worst depths of despair is something that he could only wish to have back. Death, and all the miring feelings that come along with it, are things he's been intimately familiar with, ever since he was young. This, however, is likely the first time Basil has lost a friend.

Quietly, he reaches across the kotatsu, and settles his hand in the space between them. Just in case.]

It's okay to not know what to do, Basil-kun, and... It's okay to be sad, too. Katurian-san will be back, though. It doesn't make the pain less, but... It doesn't make it worse, either.

[Pain and death are temporary here, whether that's a blessing or not... Komaeda won't push Basil to believe one over the other.]

[Basil can feel that usual panic starting to overwhelm him, as he sits there. Well..."usual" may not be so accurate, because the usual is far, far worse than this. At least here, the anxieties of home are a little more divorced from his current reality...yet at the same time, it's disturbingly close. Too close.

Komaeda has a lot of faith in Basil's naivety. If only his assumption were true.

That said, even if these feelings are familiar, it doesn't make them any easier to confront. He can feel his chest tightening as his mind swims dizzyingly, trying to make sense of what happened in the time he seems to have forgotten, or perhaps blocked out entirely. If Katurian died, and Basil remembers him enough to know he was supposed to come find him...

Is it possible...he was responsible?

He doesn't want to think such things, obviously, but it's hard not to draw that connection when he has nothing else to compare it to. Just his own imagination, which tends to run wild on a good day. He can't even get up to excuse himself elsewhere, because Grand Bois is so heavy in his lap that he isn't going to be going anywhere any time soon.

...but then he sees Komaeda's hand. Reaching out to him, imploring. It's okay, it's okay...

He hesitates, his other hand still buried in Grand Bois' fur. But, after a moment...he reaches out to take Komaeda's hand. And for another long moment, he's quiet.]

...it's s..scary that I can't remember anything, Mr. Komaeda.

[What happened?]

[As that slight weight settles into Komaeda's hand, he curls his fingers over the smaller one within his palm. It's a small gesture, mostly because he isn't sure of what he could possibly say to make things easier. This sort of despair... It's the kind you just have to deal with, and grow from.]

I know how you feel, Basil-kun... Not knowing who you were, or what you did, can be really, really scary.

[This, at the very least, he has experience with.]

There was a time when... I completely forgot who I was. Years worth of memories were gone from my head, and I had no idea just what sort of person I had become during that time. I was... a past version of myself, with those memories gone.

[He watches the other, cautiously, and continues slow and quiet to make sure he doesn't say anything too upsetting.]

But your memory will come back, if not with time, then when Katurian-san returns. He might know something about it.

[He offers a small, hopefully reassuring smile to the other.]

[...Katurian. When Katurian comes back...he might know something about what happened. It's reassuring and anxiety inducing all at the same time, because in the end...one wonders if it's something Basil even will want to know. It really depends on how bad things got.

It's sad to hear that something similar has happened to Komaeda in the past. At least Basil only lost a week, but Komaeda lost years of his memories. Of himself. Basil can hardly imagine what that could do to a person over a much larger scale.

He looks back down at their joined hands, tightening his grip just a fraction.]

...did you ever get them back? Your memories?

[That tightened grip doesn't go unnoticed, rather, Komaeda's gaze turns to it the moment he feels it.]

I did, but it took some time, and what I gained... came at a really high price.

[The horrors of what happened to his school, to his friends, to their world... It all came to him slowly, but the spiraling despair of it all was at least softened by the fact that he'd already read it in a report. If one could consider such a thing to be a blessing, well...]

But those were all things that happened before Ryslig, it's a little bit different here. It's more tame, compared to my world... Which means it might not be easy for anyone who's never gone through stuff like this.

[Losing your memory, or your sense of self, never mind a friend... They're all things he's endured before. Things that prepared him for his life here.]

So it's okay to be scared, Basil-kun, but Katurian-san will be alright. He'll be back, and then we can ask him if he remembers what happened to him, alright?

[Tame...Basil isn't sure, then, if he would be able to handle what Komaeda ended up remembering about his world. It sounds...very bad.

Then again, Basil's idea of bad is skewed. His perspective altered.

He runs his hand down Grand Bois' back again.]

...okay.

[He's just going to have to accept this, for now. Anything else is going to result in him getting more and more upset, and he's already reached his capacity for that, he's pretty sure.

He sets the wrapper for the rice crackers he'd opened back onto the kotatsu, not realizing he'd still been holding it, before he says anything else.]

I should go home soon... [Since he's concerned that the others at the Palazzo might be worried about his disappearance.] ...but...can I stay with you a little while longer?

[Komaeda watches the boy for a long, quiet moment. It's a lot to take in, he thinks, especially for a guy so timid as Basil. He decides it was likely the best choice to not tell him about his friend being in the fridge, even if Mukuro's practicality means there's one less human out there being killed and eaten.]

You can stay for as long as you like, Basil-kun.

[He tone is warm, as is his smile, as he holds his tea cup just to keep his hand occupied.]

We have books, and video games, if you like those. The kotatsu is warm, and Grand Bois likes you. If you want something else to eat, too, I have some normal leftovers I could microwave for you.

[Just as Basil is like to want, Komaeda tries to offer up any further sense of normalcy he can. It's the least he can do, he thinks, for a guy who's just trying to keep his head above the water.]

[It's almost hard for Basil to believe now that he'd been so afraid of Komaeda when he first got here, yet here he is almost literally bending over backwards to help him out at every turn. He appreciates it, so much...and hopes that one day, he can return the favor. It's deserved, he thinks.

He'll finally reach for the tea that Komaeda set out for him though, able to take a sip now that it's had some time to cool for a bit. It's warm and nice between his hands.]

I think I might just...sit here for a while.

[He may just fall asleep actually, between the kotatsu's warmth and Grand Bois' weight on him.]

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luckless - 2023-02-12 21:44 (UTC) - Expand

[RYSLIG] IC Inbox

January 22nd, Evening, post-event, cw: disassociation/memory loss

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cw: vague danganronpa spoilers--

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WELCOME TO YOUR PRIVATE CHANNEL, NAGITO KOMAEDA. FOR SECURE COMMUNICATION, USE 004.28.777.00 * MrBrightside has joined 004.28.777.00 <MrBrightside> Hello there! This is Komaeda. <MrBrightside>** I'm grateful that you want to talk to me.